If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:8-9
Spiritual Blindness
I cannot number the times I have recited this verse, in unison with my church family, at the end of our silent time of confession on Sunday mornings. Because of that, this verse is forever written on my heart.
But there is a difference between hearing scripture (and indeed even memorizing scripture) and knowing scripture. In my own spiritual blindness I never considered myself as one who has been deceived and I did not understand how urgently I needed to repent of my sins.
But praise God! I once was blind, but now I see! It’s amazing how blindness is not something that needs to be healed only once! I find the need to consistently pray with the apostle Paul to have the eyes of my heart enlightened (Ephesians 1: 18)
Playing Dress Up with Sin
I always understood 1 John 8-9 to refer only to those who (somehow) thought themselves perfect, who thought they were completely without sin. Or perhaps it referred only to those unbelievers who did not understand their total depravity and therefore could not comprehend their need for a savior.
I now see, however, that verse 8 directly applies to me. I have deceived myself and the truth has not been in me!
Have I ever claimed to be without sin? No. I’ve understood my fallen nature for as long as I can remember. But have I claimed to be without certain sins? Daily.
I’ve become a professional at making my sins look pretty, at dressing them up so that they no longer look so sinful. I have deceived myself into thinking my “pretty sins” were not really sins worth confessing:
I have unlovingly confronted friends over issues on which we disagree and rationalized my actions saying, “I just needed to get that off my chest.”
I have compared myself to others, putting them down in my mind to make myself feel better and told myself that I was just being human.
I have prayed many a selfish prayer asking for God to change someone else for my own convenience and called it “loving my neighbor”.
I have spent many a night doubting God’s goodness by fretting myself with worry only to think that it was good for me to spend that time thinking things through.
I have selfishly insisted on having some “me-time” and justified it by saying, “I deserve this! I’ve had a hard day!”
Ah yes, I am a professional at dressing up sin and excusing it.
Being Cleansed
But praise God, He continues to heal me of this particular blindness and brings me to the foot of the cross!
God has shown me, what John already knew, that He is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
He has shown me the blessing that comes when I lay my sin before Christ, knowing He has already been victorious over it.
And he has shown me that Christ did not die just to one day cleanse me from all of my sins when I reach eternity, but He died to begin the process of cleansing NOW. And when I call out my sin for what it is and repent of it before God, He goes about the work of saving me NOW from that sin and giving me a transformed heart that no longer desires to sin in that way.
The Power of the Cross
Dressing up my sin and making it look pretty only gives me a superficial feeling of contentment. It might make me feel better for a while, but when the ugly truth of my sin refuses to be disguised by my lame excuses, I become utterly disappointed in myself.
Repenting of my sin is the only way to be cleansed from my sin. Calling it for what it is and admitting that yes, there is darkness in my heart, points me to my need for a Savior and causes me to fall at His feet. The same feet that were nailed to a cross for the very purpose of conquering my sin and the ugly consequence of it, death.
Therefore, I need never try to make excuses for the ugliness in my heart because Christ died in my place and has clothed me in His righteousness. So as the Father is about the work of making me into the likeness of His Son, He looks upon me with absolutely perfect love and he sees me for what I am: perfectly forgiven and perfectly righteous because of the cross of Christ.