Big News for the Balsleys!

As you may have noticed, Encourage My Hope has been on hiatus for the past couple of months. This is because I’ve been feeling very ill since the end of February and have been unable to concentrate well enough to write blog posts. But not to worry, this is all very good news! Our family will be gaining a new member in the beginning of November!

I have struggled with terrible morning sickness through both pregnancies and it seems as though everything must come grinding to a halt when this happens. So I took a break from blogging and spent some time resting and recuperating. Now that I’m a couple of weeks into the second trimester, I’m feeling much better and am ready to continue this online journey I’ve begun.

Lessons Learned Through Suffering

I learned something important throughout my time of unending nausea.

I learned that I do not suffer well.

What I mean by that is, when I’m not feeling well I expect the whole world to revolve around me. I do whatever I need to do to comfort myself in the midst of my suffering and I expect others to do the same. I fix my eyes on myself.

I can’t imagine that I’m a very pleasant person to be around when I’m not feeling well…although my wonderful husband would never admit that.

What this meant was that I spent most of my sick time escaping from my circumstances. I was constantly on my phone browsing through click-bait articles and other social media garbage. I read only light, fun juvenile fiction books and hardly anything of substance. I excused myself from reading the Bible, saying I just couldn’t concentrate when I was feeling so poorly. I watched endless television shows on Netflix, trying to find something that would take my mind off my upset stomach.

None of these things are inherently evil. But all these things in combination caused me to fix my eyes inwardly and not on Jesus.

Instead of running to His throne of grace for comfort…I ran to Facebook and Pinterest.

Instead of praying through my deepest struggles…I drowned my sorrows in meaningless literature and television.

Instead of dwelling on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8)…I filled my mind with worthless facts and celebrity gossip.

I excused my behavior by telling myself I just couldn’t help it, I was feeling too poorly to do otherwise. I told myself it didn’t really matter, this would all soon pass.

It’s not wrong for us to seek out comfort when we’re not feeling our best. What I did not realize, however, is that by filling my mind with meaningless things I was actually forsaking true comfort: comfort that only comes from filling our minds and hearts with Christ.

What I Gave Up

But not turning to Christ in the midst of my suffering, I gave up certain things that would have made my suffering, not only more endurable, but more purposeful:

I gave up comfort:

By fixing my eyes on myself and my suffering, I gave up the comfort and peace that comes from remembering THE Suffering Servant.

“Come to me,” Jesus says, “and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30).

To find true comfort and rest for our weary souls, we must come to Jesus through the Scriptures and in prayer. To seek comfort from anything else is like putting a band-aid over a gaping wound. Jesus alone is our source of comfort.

I gave up growth: 

Instead of remaining steadfast, fixing my eyes on Jesus, and enduring my suffering, I sought out the quickest escape. By doing this I gave up opportunities to grow in Christ-likeness and maturity as a believer.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

Our suffering sanctifies us. But when we look for the quickest way to escape our suffering rather than bravely enduring it through prayer and the reading of God’s Word, we miss out on what God has to teach us throughout our time of trial.

I gave up my true source of hope:

Instead of placing my hope in the one true God who, through Christ, is making all things new, I placed my hope in temporary moments of relief and the next time I would be able to take a nap.

“For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4: 17-18).

Our hope in the risen Christ and His work within us, far outweighs the hope I put into my next time of solitude. It far outweighs the hope I have that morning sickness will one day end. What if my time of solitude never materializes or my sickness lasts much longer than expected? Is all lost? No! We serve a risen king who will one day vanquish fatigue and morning sickness and usher in a new, and everlasting reality in which all the wrongs will be set right. This is what we, who suffer momentarily, need to put our hope in and fix our eyes on.

I gave up the opportunity to give God glory: 

By failing to fix my eyes on Jesus and His purposes during my suffering, I missed the opportunity to give God all the glory for carrying me through it. I missed the chance to point others to Christ who walks with us through our suffering.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Corinthians 4: 7-10).

God’s unending grace in the midst of our affliction, allows us to point others to Him as our source of true hope and comfort. We carry around within us the reality of Christ’s death and resurrection, which gives us joy in the middle of our suffering. When others see that joy, we can then point them to its source, and all glory then goes to God. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, others want to see what it is that captures our gaze.

Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

We all go through periods of time when we’re just trying to survive. Watching television and reading interesting books can be helpful during those periods. But turning our eyes inward so that our only hope rests in the escape that those television shows and interesting books provide, cannot give us the comfort we so crave. Christ, through the cross, offers us abounding grace to endure our suffering and find joy and hope in the midst of it. I have learned my lesson, and am now hopefully preventing you from learning it the same way. Fix your eyes on Jesus in the middle of your suffering. For He is our only true source of comfort, hope, and joy.

For more on how to rejuvenate and rest rather than escape, check out this post here.