I Am Not A Powerhouse
I recently received some literature in the mail from a moms’ group that was meant to be encouraging to me.
There were two phrases on one of the pages in the booklet they sent that stood out to me. It said:
“You are a powerhouse”
“You are the most powerful creature on the planet”
I appreciate the thought behind this. This moms’ group does not want me to feel guilt-ridden and incapable as a mom. They want me to know that the work that I do is purposeful. They don’t want me to feel weak and unimportant. And it’s very true that as moms, we often feel weak and unimportant in the hard work we commit to doing day-in and day-out.
But these phrases aren’t the least bit encouraging to me. And here’s why:
- They just aren’t true
I am not a powerhouse and I am most certainly not the most powerful creature on the planet. One peek into my typical day of parenting makes that plain. I may have moments where I seem like I have it all together (and sometimes I feel like I have it all together). But those are far outweighed by the moments when I have no idea what I’m doing. Or the moments when I fail spectacularly. I’m not the most powerful creature on the planet, and I certainly don’t feel like it.
2. They require me to pretend
I could take what they say to heart. I could choose to believe, despite how I feel, that I am more powerful than I think I am. I could determine that I will wake up tomorrow morning remembering that I am a powerhouse mom and choose to act like it instead of submitting to the idea that I am a weak mom.
But how long can pretending like this last? Until the first moment I lose my patience with my two-year-old? Until I become so exhausted that I forsake all my mothering duties for a moment of quiet? Or maybe I make it the whole day, but give up pretending as soon as my husband walks in the door from work and I hand all responsibility over to him without waiting to hear how his day was.
Pretending can only work for so long because we just can’t pretend our way out of our sinfulness.
But praise God! The truth about my power as a mom, as revealed to us in the Scriptures, is so much better than pretending to be something that I’m not.
If you are not feeling like a powerhouse mom today, or if you’re tired of pretending to be something that you just know you’re not, read on. The truth of the Gospel speaks astounding hope into the hearts of weary moms.
Free to Admit I Am Weak
I love Paul Tripp’s concise and straightforward explanation of what the message of the gospel means for parents. In his book Parenting (you can find it on Amazon here, I highly, highly recommend it) he says:
“But the good news is that the message of the Bible isn’t that God puts an undoable standard before us and then sits by and judges us for our failures. No, the message is that God puts an uncompromising standard before us, then sends his Son to perfectly meet that standard on our behalf, so that we can be free to admit our failures and go to God for help. The cross of Jesus Christ means I don’t have to deny my struggles as a parent, I don’t have to act as if I’m something that I’m not, and I surely don’t have to hide from the only One who is able to help me.”
Here is a truth that we need to accept as moms if we are to have any hope of mothering well:
Being a “Powerhouse Mom” is absolutely impossible.
And deep down we know this. Because we’ve all tried to be powerhouse moms and we have all failed miserably.
The truth is that God has set for us an impossible standard to meet when it comes to being a good parent. With our sin-sick hearts, we will always fail at meeting this standard. We will always fail at being good parents.
But there is hope! Oh so much hope!
Jesus came and met this standard on our behalf. We are not powerhouses, but we don’t have to be because the one who is truly a powerhouse is for us (Romans 8:31). This is something to be greatly encouraged by!
The Truth That Sets Us Free
The gospel, the good news that Jesus died and rose again on our behalf, freeing us from the penalty and power of our sins, holds such hope for us weary, non-powerhouse moms.
The Gospel Frees Us From Having to Pretend
The idea that we should go around telling ourselves that we are powerhouses, the most powerful creatures on the planet, when we know we are not, is not only foolish, it actually hurts all attempts at parenting well. When we are so focused on pretending to be powerful, we miss out on the opportunities we have to admit the truth, that we are weak! If I keep telling myself I’m a powerhouse, I’ll turn a blind eye to the fact that I can’t do this on my own and I need help. This will hinder my parenting.
Like Tripp said in the quote above, the truth about what Jesus has done for us frees us to admit when we fail. We can come to Jesus, just as we are, weak and foolish, and receive his forgiveness and the grace we need to keep going. We are freed from pretending. I can come to Jesus and admit I can’t go on without his supernatural strength. I can come to Jesus and confess that I’ve been impatient and irrational and ask him to help me. I can come to Jesus when I’m tired and ask him to give me what I need to mother well in spite of my exhaustion.
We can rest in the fact that the Spirit of God dwells inside of us, working within us through our weaknesses to do great and wonderful things in our children’s lives. This is good news worth repeating to ourselves!
The Gospel Reminds Us Of Who Really Is The Most Powerful
When we finally come to terms with our weaknesses as mothers, we can remember and cling to the fact that we serve a God who truly is a powerhouse. God in his wisdom and grace gives us everything we need to keep going day after day. He will not withhold from us anything we need in order to be obedient to Him as we mother our children. This means that not only am I free to admit that I’m foolish, I can also ask Him to give me His wisdom. I am free to admit that I’m tired and cranky and ask Him to give me His strength. I am free to admit that I’m impatient and ask Him to give me the patience I am incapable of mustering up on my own.
When I lean on my Heavenly Father to give me exactly what I need to mother well, he faithfully provides. And because it’s his power that sustains me and not my own, He gets all the glory for the wonderful things done in my children’s lives. I don’t deserve any glory for being a “powerhouse mom” but he certainly deserves all the glory for being our powerful God.
The Gospel Gives Us the Hope of Transformation
Read what Paul Tripp says a little bit later in the chapter:
“Jesus died not only to forgive me, but by his grace to also transform me. The list of character qualities [the fruit of the Spirit] that we have been considering is our gift of his grace, given to every believer. Jesus died so that unloving people would become loving, complainers would become joyful, fighters would become peacemakers, impatient people would grow to be willing to wait, and unkind people would become those known for their kindness. Between the ‘already’ of your conversion and the ‘not yet’ of your home going, this is what God is working on in your heart and life. He works through all the mundane situations, locations, and relationships of your life to progressively transform you by his grace.”
There is such hope for moms who are in Christ. Not only are we free to admit we are powerless, cling to the One who is powerful, but we are not stuck forever in our failings as mothers. We have this promise that God is transforming us into the same image [of Christ] from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18). We cling to the hope that the sin with which we are struggling today might not be such a struggle down the road. That the impatience, unkindness, and selfishness that we show our families today might one day be transformed into patience, kindness, and selflessness. We are works in progress and for that we rejoice! The good news of the gospel shows us that we are not stuck in our powerlessness as mothers, but are being changed into the image of Christ, the true powerhouse.
While I appreciate this moms’ group’s attempt to encourage me, I am deeply saddened that they completely missed the life-giving truth. Christ’s work on the cross has freed me to be the mom I was created to be: Never a powerhouse, but fully forgiven, filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, and being transformed day-by-day into the image of the One perfect parent. Dear moms, rest in this great hope!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9