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What does it mean to be truly free?
I know what the world would tell you. I think Elsa, from the hit movie Frozen, summed up the world’s view on freedom best when she sang:
“No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I’m free!”
According to the world, freedom is the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want with no constraints holding you back.
But that’s not true freedom. Not according to Paul or the rest of the Scriptures for that matter.
If Paul were here I think he would define freedom as “the ability to live the life for which you were created.”
True freedom is freedom from the slavery of sin. The sin that holds us back from experiencing life the way God created us to experience it.
True freedom cost Christ his life.
So freedom, therefore, is not freedom from all rules and regulations, but rather the freedom to live and thrive within the pleasant boundary lines that God has created for us. Because we know that when God makes known to us the boundaries we are to stay within that there is fullness of joy (see Psalm 16). We function the way we were created to function when we remain within the boundaries God has given us.
In today’s text Paul outlines some of the boundary lines that God has created within the context of the family. Although many see these boundaries as prohibitive and unjust, they are actually the exact boundaries that every family needs in order to function the way a family was created to function. Within these familial boundaries there is fullness of joy!
So today we’re going to look at Colossians 3:18-4:1 and learn from what Paul has to say about how a family functions best.
Submission – A Holy Calling
Within the the first five words of today’s text, Paul has managed to anger the modern feminist. How dare Paul instruct wives to submit to your husbands (vs.18).
My response to that is: don’t shoot the messenger. These commands are God’s commands. If you have a problem with them, you need to take it up with God, not Paul.
In defense of the modern feminists, I can see why this verse has angered so many. Husbands, throughout the ages, have used this verse to coerce and manipulate their wives into doing their bidding. They have abused their authority as head of the household and have used God’s Word to justify their behavior.
That is certainly an abhorrent and sinful way to use Colossians 3:18. To use this verse in that way is a far cry from what Paul meant by calling wives to submit to their husbands.
So let’s put the verse back in its context and take a look at the whole message Paul is communicating.
In Colossians 3:18 – 4:1, Paul addresses every member of a typical first-century family. He addresses wives, children, and bondservants (slaves) once, and the head of the household (as husband, father, and slave master) three times. In fact, the instructions to wives, children, and slaves is each followed by an instruction to the head of the household. Because as the head of the household, the wellbeing of the family unit, relied heavily on how he chose to treat his family.
So let’s look at each of these pairs of instructions in turn:
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord (vs. 18)
Rather than unjust restrictions, these instructions form the boundary lines that help both husband and wife thrive in their particular calling within the family unit.
Unfortunately the word “submit” has come to mean something that it never was supposed to mean. According to the Oxford English Dictionary submission is “accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will of another person.” According to Mark Meynell, a more biblical definition of submission would be “one equal person’s voluntary acceptance of the authority of another equal person.1”
Wives, submitting to your husbands is a high and holy calling because it is the same calling of Jesus Christ. Christ did not submit to his own will, but voluntarily accepted the authority of his Father. Jesus said in John chapter 5:
“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me. (vs. 30)”
Does submitting to his Father’s will make Jesus unequal to God the Father? Does it make the Father a superior force to the Son? Does it somehow diminish Jesus’s power or glory to submit to the will of Father?
No. Not one bit.
Then neither does it make you unequal to your husband. Neither does it make your husband superior over you. Neither does it diminish your influence within the life of your family or the glory that awaits you in heaven.
Your calling as a wife is to do as Jesus did and voluntarily submit. Because family life functions best when everyone willingly fills the roles that God has given them.
And what’s remarkable is the fact that Paul is saying that wives even have a role at all in furthering the Kingdom of God. In an era when wives, children, and slaves were seen as property and not people, it is astounding that God, through Paul, gives each group of people an important role in furthering the work of Christ.
Wives submit to their husbands because when they do they are honoring Christ.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them (vs. 19)
One might then expect, were this a typical letter of the time, to see verse 18 followed by instructions to the husband on things they should force their wives to submit to. But not in the Kingdom of God. Husbands are called to love their wives and not be harsh with them. This type of love demands personal sacrifice. This is the type of love that took Jesus to the cross. Ephesians 5:25 says:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
In order to create a thriving family unit, the husband is called to sacrificially love his wife. This too is a high and holy calling.
The Role of the Child
How remarkable is it that God addresses even the youngest and most helpless members of the family and gives them a role in furthering the Kingdom of God?
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (vs.20)
The verse does not say, “Children, obey your parents because they are older, wiser, and all around better than you so you must do as they say.” Unfortunately, I think this is the message that parents sometimes convey to their children when they call them to obey. Rather, parents ought to instruct children to obey because by doing so they please their Creator. Their obedience brings God joy. This, again, is a high and holy calling and it is a calling specifically given to children. We must impress upon our children the honor that it is to contribute to the kingdom of God through their obedience.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged (vs. 21).
Paul, once again addresses the head of the household. The health of the family lies squarely on his shoulders. Fathers are to demand obedience of their children but not in a way that discourages, shames, or belittles them. The discipline they are to administer is a loving, patient discipline not an angry one.
Integrity in Work
Paul then addresses slaves and servants of the first century Christian household. In America, whenever we hear the word slave, we picture the horrific and brutal slavery of the American south earlier in our country’s history. Therefore, we have trouble understanding why Paul doesn’t command all Christian families to let their slaves go free.
But slavery in the first century was very different than the American slavery we remember today. Slavery back then was not a product of hatred and racism. Becoming slaves was a way for a family to survive who struggled financially, or was a gracious alternative to death for people conquered in battle. Slavery was so deeply embedded into the first century society that towns, cities, economies, governments, would simply stop functioning without it. Mark Meynell says that to ask Christian families to give up slaves in the first century would be like asking Christian families to give up fossil fuels in the 21st century. It’s something that probably should be done but would take many years of extensive change to make that possible2.
So rather than abolishing the system that the entire world ran on, Paul accepts it as a fact of life and challenges the Christians in Colossae to subvert the culture of slavery by treating their slaves lovingly and fairly.
Paul’s first instructs the slaves on how they ought to go about their work. The slaves are to be trustworthy, obey[ing] in everything those who are [their] earthly masters (vs. 22). They are to have integrity, not only working diligently when their masters are watching but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord (vs.22). They are to work thoroughly, knowing that by doing so they are really working for the Lord, and not for men (vs. 23). They are to remember, that though they may be slaves, and though their masters may be harsh, they will receive the inheritance as [their] reward (vs. 24). Because by being trustworthy, sincere, thorough workers they are actually serving the Lord Christ (vs. 24). Paul also reminds them that when they are mistreated, the Lord is just and will see to it that the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong (vs. 25).
Paul then address the slave masters, emphasizing again the importance of the role of the head of the household in helping his family functioning as it should. Slave masters are to treat their slaves justly and fairly (4:1) knowing that they themselves are slaves to their Master in heaven.
Application
When every member of the family rises to the role that they have been given by God, the family thrives and God’s Kingdom is furthered. To rise into your respective role within your family is to experience the true freedom that comes from being who you were created to be.
That is not to say that it is always easy to rise to your role in the family.
Submission is hard. If you don’t want to take my word for it, ask Jesus as he sweats blood in the Garden of Gethsemane if he found it difficult to submit to his father’s perfect will (Luke 22:39-46). And yet he did submit.
Sacrificial love is hard because it is costly, it requires something of us. Sometimes it requires things we aren’t willing to give.
Obedience is hard for the heart of a child that is wired from birth to want to rule his own life.
Working, in whatever capacity, with diligence, thoroughness, and integrity is hard especially when the people around us are not doing so.
These are high and holy and yes, hard, callings.
And yet there is one small sentence in the middle of this large paragraph that puts all of this high, holy, and hard work into perspective. One sentence that, when applied, motivates, sustains, and encourages us as we do the hard work we are called to do.
You are serving the Lord Christ (vs. 24).
When we rise to the roles that God has given us, we remember, that even though those we serve may be undeserving, through serving them we are serving our Savior. Remembering this helps us do the hard work heartily, as for the Lord (vs. 23).
Questions for Personal Reflection:
- For Wives: What holds you back from willingly submitting to your husband? How can remembering that Jesus willingly submits to the Father help you fulfill your high and holy calling to submit to your husband?
- For Singles: What authority are you being called to submit to? What holds you back from willingly submitting to that authority? How can remembering Jesus’s willing submission help you as you submit to the authorities God has placed in your life?
- For Parents: What motivates you to require obedience from your children? How can you encourage your children to rise to the high and holy calling God has given them to obey you in everything?
- For Spiritual Parents: Who have you been called to spiritually parent? How can you encourage that person to rise to the high and holy calling that God has given them to obey His authority in their lives?
- For the Worker: Do you currently work with excellence? How can remembering that you serve the Lord through your work help you work with excellence?
- For the Overseer: How can remembering that you are answerable to your Master in heaven help you treat those who work under you fairly?
To go back to part 6 of this study: Hidden with Christ: Colossians 3:1-17 Click Here!